Bodylove

Ophira Edut is a body image activist and a celebrity astrologer — devoted to helping women understand and accept themselves, be it through self-love or the stars Ophira is the author of the multicultural body image anthology Body Outlaws (Seal Press), and publishes the website adiosbarbie.com. She and her twin sister Tali (known as The AstroTwins), write empowering horoscopes that appear on Elle.com, MyLifetime.com and their own website, Astrostyle.com. They are the authors of Love Zodiac, a guide to understanding the men of every sign.

What does “Bodylove” mean to you?

It means acceptance—radical acceptance—of what is and isn’t about your body. It doesn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t change anything about your body, but even so, you recognize that your body is beautiful and worthy of love as it is right now.

How have you become more confident in your body and if so how?

I definitely have. Frankly, I believe that suffering is optional in life. As the Buddhists believe, suffering comes from attachment. When I’ve been fixated on wanting a different body, or thinking my life would be better if I had one, I’ve been miserable. It’s no way to live. Even if I’m making a change in my eating habits, for example, the end goal has to be feeling great rather than thinness. It’s a tricky game, and I have to monitor my mind regularly. How do I avoid that trap? Watching and listening to other women experience their own body love journeys has helped. I’ve also really come to observe the beauty that radiates from people who love themselves. There’s so much life and vitality and light that pours out of a confident, self-possessed person. Insecurity makes us shrink, become less powerful. That’s not what any of us were put here to do.

What do you think about social and media standards of beauty that communicate to women that we need to be thin to be in?

I think they’re everywhere, and we need to stay two steps ahead at all times. These are powerful, seductive messages that are reinforced not only by visual images, but by our own adoption of them. We risk becoming outcasts or seen as unfashionable if we don’t follow the latest trend.. Take the Brazilian bikini wax, for example. If 15 years ago, someone told me to get one, I’d have looked at them like they were crazy. Now, there are waxing “bars” all over New York City, and even men are getting them. If you’re not paying someone to rip hairs out of the most sensitive parts of your body these days, you’re seen as an oddball. We humans are just wacky little followers. That’s why I called my book Body Outlaws—at times, body love actually takes a willingness to live outside these immense pressures. It takes courage and strength to stand alone, to say, “Wait, I’m not sure I want to do that. Let me think it over and make a choice that honors my true spirit.”

And listen, I don’t judge anyone who isn’t up to that. Some days, you just want peace. Nobody wants to be left out or isolated because of how they look. I wear makeup, highlight my hair, shave, get pedicures—and can I honestly say it’s all for me? Of course not. The brain is powerful. We size people up and make a lasting first impression within the first few seconds of meeting someone. So I’ve become aware of the irony—if I want people to listen to my message about positive body image, it will be easier if I fit a certain image. If they think I’m attractive, I stand a better shot of being heard. Not that I play into this, but I have to be aware of how the human mind works, to not fool myself. I know that as a “body outlaw,” I’m giving the world a little shock therapy when I act as if I’m entitled to feel beautiful or have a right to speak, even if I don’t look like Giselle Bundchen.

What inspires you? or what has been your greatest inspiration?

Real, everyday women who embrace themselves as they are. Women who are “full”—in body, or in spirit, or in life—and who are guided by their own intuition and passion. Genuine people who are actually about something bigger than themselves. I’ve also become interested in the latest writing about neuroscience, and how our brains play a role in the quest for positive body image.

What is your passion?

Inspiring people to find and trust their own leadership, beauty and voice. I like to use the media—publishing, websites, books—to do this in a beautiful, stylish format.

What has been your biggest life lesson thus far and how did you make it work in your favor?

It’s hard to think of just one, but back in the 1990s, I published a multicultural women’s magazine that was sold on newsstands and bookstores, called HUES. It was for women of all cultures, sizes and lifestyles—basically, inclusive of everyone who’s normally excluded from glossy magazines, especially back then. Anyway, I was turned down by one distributor whose exact (racist) words were, “ethnics don’t sell on the newsstand.” Another person advised me that if a magazine like this were going to succeed, wouldn’t someone have done it already? Um, no. But we forged ahead and launched the magazine worldwide anyway, and it was published for a few good years.

My lesson was not to listen to visionless people who are protecting the status quo. When you want to make change, don’t go into it expecting people to “get it.” Many people are driven by fear, and they will resist change. I learned to push for change anyway. Better to fail spectacularly being true to my principles than to wonder “What if?” because I never had the guts to try.

What has your biggest a-hah moment been?

There have been many, but at one point in my early 20s, I was in an “angry girl” phase and gained a considerable amount of weight. Let’s say it was my awakening to all the injustices against women. I was a newbie, so of course I went to the extreme. I never did my hair or makeup, I purposefully dressed in shapeless, baggy clothes because I didn’t want attention from men. Guess what? I got hit on by more guys walking down the street than ever before—because I didn’t care. It was so damn ironic. All the effort I’d previously put in to getting my hair perfect, sucking in my gut, working out 6 days a week so guys would like me netted me zero positive results in the dating department. I was so self-conscious and self-hating, how could I possibly make an intimate connection with a guy? So my lesson was that attractiveness is really not about looks, but attitude.

What makes you the happiest or most satisfied and why?

I’m lucky to be a paid professional writer living in New York City on my own schedule. I just love wandering around mid-afternoon when everyone else is at work or in school, going to restaurants before the crowds come, poking through vintage shops and bookstores, and just letting my instincts guide me. Snuggling with my two miniature dachshunds is also my idea of bliss.

What is your favorite meal or snack?

I like a combo of healthy and decadent food. There’s nothing like a good steak frite from a little French restaurant, with a foie gras appetizer—but to taste best, it has to be shared with someone I love. I think olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper are the holy quartet and can pretty much make anything taste good. I enjoy roasting vegetables like Brussels sprouts or Jerusalem artichokes with these four ingredients. Least favorite food: cilantro. I wish I liked it, but it makes me shudder.

Tell me about Astrostyle?

AstroStyle is an astrology website and brand I created with my twin sister Tali. We both love to give women empowering advice, and it’s just so fun to package it through astrology. My sister and I have been studying the stars for almost 20 years, and for some reason, we were both born with a knack for it. We write daily, weekly and monthly horoscopes for Elle.com and MyLifetime.com, and we have a ton of awesome content on our website Astrostyle.com. Our site is basically a life planner by the stars—everything from the best foods for your sign, to dating and love advice, to career and decorating tips. Last year, we published a 450-page guide to understanding the men of every sign, called The AstroTwins’ Love Zodiac. We’re committed to healthy, happy relationships between the sexes.

You work with celebrities too do they ask you the same questions as us regular folk?

Absolutely. In fact, they’re even more insecure because they live under so much pressure. People are watching them, and they have to look like they’ve got it all together. A confidence slip-up could land them in the tabloids or cost their careers. Yet, they’re human beings with as many questions as the rest of us, trying to figure it all out. The celebs I talked to who were willing to open up seemed so relieved to be understood and heard. I felt like a therapist!

What advice would you give to other women about following their dreams?
Do it. Just be patient and take a step at a time. Also, you must learn how to market yourself through the web, social media, women’s networking groups, and anyplace your audience might be. When you’re starting out, especially grassroots style, you are the sales force, the advertising department and the staff. One of my favorite authors is Seth Godin—I recommend his books to any entrepreneur.

When feeling emotionally fragile how do you balance yourself?
I remember to be as nice as possible to myself. I get myself a cupcake, wear something comfortable, and talk to one of my wise, nurturing female friends. Our emotions are guides, so there’s always a legitimate treasure buried under the confusing feelings. I’m a book hound, so I usually go browse a bookstore and come across the perfect bit of wisdom.

How do you release fear?
By acknowledging it. My favorite quote from Winston Churchill is, “If you’re walking through hell, keep walking.”

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