sex

A few years I ago I had a wake up call. I realized that I’d been lied to over and over again! And you have been too.

I was living in NYC working and working in a stressful job in TV development. In need of a holiday and some good R&R, my only salvation from going totally insane during the long enduring winter was my local gym. I loved my gym because it was the only luxury I could afford at the time, and for an hour a day I felt that I was living the live, at a luxury resort.

Everything at the gym was immaculate. Attendants who catered to our every need maintained the changing rooms. I ordered organic juice served to me as I lounged by the pool. It was heaven in a concrete jungle.The liberating thing about this busy gym was the confident women I met. The girls changing room was a naked sea of women steaming, bathing, chatting and preening. I have to confess, I couldn’t help but have a good look around! I am not a pervert by any means, but I just couldn’t help taking in all the nakedness. It is hard not to when you have someone’s bottom literally in your face. I saw so many varied looking women, each so different in body size and shape – voluptuous bodies, extra voluptuous bodies, tall women, short women, toned and lean women, sagging breasts, perky breasts, large full bottoms, white, black, Asian, bony bums, cellulite, vaginas covered in fur and others Brazilian bare.What struck me was how sexy all these women were. Huh? Hadn’t I been taught that you had to look like a model, a polished reed or a famous actress to be sexy? Deep within me, I knew the media ideal of ‘beauty’ was a narrow limited view, but it wasn’t until I really saw such a broad range of nakedness that I realized I had really been lied to and blatantly brainwashed. These women were all gorgeous, each and every one of them! What really struck me was how these women strutted. There was no hiding. These women were sexy, empowered and not afraid to show it ALL off!

The same week at work I had been interviewing a selection of women for a advertising project. Each lady had a different job, passion, and opinion and their own unique perspective and attitude, created their individual sexiness. They all had very individual body shapes, faces, skin tones, opinions and yearnings; and yet they all exuded a brilliant charisma infused with confidence, passion, and determination. Some of them where almost ethereal grounded in their unique beauty. And to top of my sexy research, my new ‘sexy’ view of appreciation was consolidated by the glorious women I had featured at my clothing launch. From size 16 to size 8, each and everyone rocked.

“What is sexy is a woman who takes care of herself without guilt attached to honoring her body and soul.” Carre Otis, Actress and former model, now a yogini, Los Angeles

All three experiences ignited my desire to expose the truth about true definition of sensuality for women today. Often I think we can intellectualize that beauty and sex appeal comes in all shapes, sizes and ages, but unless we can really start to live it and believe whole heartedly in our sexy sensual selves, we can’t really be free to be the women we are entitled to be – strong, clever and yes you guessed it sexy and sensual, without guilt.

By unmasking the sexiness in every woman, we can work towards establishing a strong sense of who we are – damn brilliant specimens, all perfect in our uniqueness. Exposing our raw sexiness sets new foundations and gives us the capabilities to lead by example, to encourage our mothers, friends, children and associates to claim their own sexy energy. To unveil our raw sexiness we need to be more in tune with our bodies and all the other gifts that make us women. The compounding effects of media propaganda constantly drum our internal drive for perfection and it has to stop! Are you over it? I know I am! It is now time to live differently by reclaiming that strength from within.

“Imagine us shaping a new woman, dream of the future, out of transformed obsessions that presently rule our lives.” Kim Chernin, author The Hungry Self

We are so consumed by living up to the ideals of others that they have become our own.We are brain washed into believing that we have to force our bodies and our lives into looking like the picture of success the billboards present, like it was a biological blue print of what women should be. This is completely insane! If we can pull back, meditate and tune into how divine we really are, we can start to clearly see how pathetic and comical the situation is. But it’s so hard when we are bombarded with hundreds of messages daily, images that re-program our sub-conscious minds. So I have done simplified some truths for you to absorb! It is time to expose the truth! You’re damn sexy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

“They feed you on the guilt to keep you humble, keep you low. Some man and myth they made up a thousand years ago.” Melissa Etheridge

What is sexy, I have discovered is a woman or a man for that matter, who is connected to WHO they are. They have a magnetic aura about them and that energy attracts people to them, like honey to bees. You don’t have to be a super hottie physically but we can all harness our inner idol by really appreciating who you are from the inside out. When you can claim self-confidence, you can’t help but exude that sexy alluring quality.

So how do you become sexy?

It is my belief that being sexy is available to everyone. I have met many a man who is super appealing because of the way he talks and walks and he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt. I have also met many women who are playful, warm, engaging and confident in their skin and they don’t look like super model Gisele either.

In summary here are the six key attributes you can embody to get into a new sexy groove! Have fun with it.

6 SEXY SECRETS:
1. PASSION - Have something your passionate about so you get excited about your life.
2. CONFIDENCE – Get to know yourself and your strengths and then embrace them. Typically it might be things you take for granted. Sometimes those are your greatest gifts. Celebrate and cherish them!
3. SELF IMAGE – Hold yourself well and talk with a self assured manner, fake it until you believe it, then be at peace with who you are. Dressing well always puts me in a good mood and if I take the time to groom well, then my self image gets a good boost. Have fun with the girly things that make you feel good. For instance, like a great dress that flatters your shape, a new piece of jewellery or spend a few hours buried in your closet putting different outfits together. Work with what you have!
4. WELLNESS – Know what makes you feel good emotionally, physically and spiritually and engage in those activities. It might be the food you eat that makes you feel nurtured or the daily yoga class that centres your spirit, or that dance class that ignites passion in you. Perhaps walking in nature or swimming in the sea set you free! Movement opens up the chakras and encourages you to breathe in the joy of live. More oxygen is always a good thing too!
5. ATTITUDE – Authentic acts of self honoring which boost our self esteem organically translates into sexiness = positive, confident, joyful and alluring women. How we perceive ourselves reflects our attitude to live and all things we encounter.
6. SELF RESPECT -Modify your thought patterns. Stop the negative chatter and turn it into positive self talk.The best way to become sexy is to look within. Discover who you are and fall in lust with it.

A great affirmation to repeat: I am sexy and sensual and I effortlessly attract playfulness and appreciation into my life.

When you like who you are and what you stand for (and no that is not the clothes you wear of the car you drive), without effort a natural sexiness starts to grow. You begin to be playful in conversation engaging all those around you, you start to dance with life and the people you meet and the new people you attract will be drawn to your engaging personality and your fun loving spirit.
If your stressed out and feeling overwhelmed sexiness tends to shrink. To charge up your inner mojo take the time to nurture yourself with rest, play and exercise. If you’re really having difficulty claiming that sexy glow then some good therapy to build your self confidence is a great way to really discover how fabulous you are. Having sex can help too and it’s always fun, hopefully!
“A sexy woman to me is a woman comfortable in her own skin, powerful but still feminine. She is centered and connected to everything.” Tina Brown, Cosmetic entrepreneur, NYC

In addition, change the way you think about yourself by shifting your inner dialogue and repeat this little mantra “I am sexy and everyone I meet is attracted to my playful and engaging personality. I feel fantastic”. As soon as you have a healthy sense of self then others will feel it.

Ok, so the foundation rests with this little bit of wisdom. SEXY starts from within. There is no doubt about it. And it’s worked for me time and time again. Being truly confident in your skin regardless of what you look like on the outside, is like the elixir of sex appeal. It’s the very juice that will attract attention from all sorts of people and not just the men!

As you explore the your own sensuality, accept and respect yourself and gradually let go of any inhibitions your world will have a lot more fun and excitement. I believe flirting with life is good for the soul. As you journey into this new playful territory, you will discover parts of yourself you might not have experience before. So to all the sex kittens out there, go claim it, live it and irresistible is what you will be.

Much Bodylove,
Ingrid Arna

Founder of mybodylove.com, Ingrid Arna is available for wellness coaching. For a FREE 15 minute phone consultation call Ingrid today. Sign up on our blog and receive our e-book, The 10 Rituals To Bodylove, short, powerful and transformational content.

Copyright Bodylove © 2010

{ 4 comments }